


Sleeper

by Lord_Turkish



Series: Dead Dimension Dreamers [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AI Angst, Doomed Timelines, Dream Bubbles, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 09:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1682960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Turkish/pseuds/Lord_Turkish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Jake goes off his rocker and Dirk screws up massively.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleeper

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! If you recognize this then good on you. This is essentially me expanding on those monologues I posted back in Febuary.

//Begin Audio Log?

                   INPUT: [Y/N]

TG: Y

                  Playback initiated.

Dirk: Things have gone horribly wrong.

Dirk: No, that’s an understatement.

Dirk: _Catastrophically_ wrong _._

Dirk: Shit, that’s still not enough.

Dirk: Things have gone so wrong, paradox space is tearing itself from the seams out of sheer disbelief that someone could fuck up so badly.

Dirk: Okay now that might be a little overblown.

Dirk: Fuck it, who cares.

Dirk: That’s how it feels to me and I’m going to keep it like that because god damn it I’ve got to have one thing go my way before I sing my swan song.

Dirk: I’m not even sure you can hear me. Probably not. I’m pretty sure I bashed your microphone in like all hell.

Dirk: Actually it’d be a miracle if you’re even online.

Dirk: I’d check but—

Dirk: Shit.

Dirk: This whole insides becoming outsides deal has my hands full.

Dirk: Literally.

Dirk: My hands are literally full of my insides becoming outsides.

Dirk: I’m pretty sure I’m in shock right now.

Dirk: This should be a lot more painful.

Dirk: Dunno when that’ll hit.

Dirk: I hope I’m out for the count before that happens.

Dirk: This will hurt like all levels of bitch once my brain processes the fact that I’m peacing out for good this time.

Dirk: …fuck.

Dirk: Nobody’s going to make it on time, are they?

Dirk: Can’t say I’m surprised.

Dirk: Maybe I should write a note.

Dirk: “Please excuse my corpse, I swear I didn’t mean to leave it out here like this but I didn’t have much of a choice. Don’t flip shit. Please. Also, don’t hate Jake. Bury him properly. Or whatever works. Not really sure how that sort of thing goes in this situation… I know how it looks, but it was my fault, too. I’m pretty sure given the time any of us would have snapped like that. And don’t ask who shot first. Seriously. –Dirk.”

Dirk: “P.S: Roxy please make sure my epitaph reads “One Cool Bro”. Don’t let Jane stick some sentimental crap on my grave. Because I will seriously haul my dream-dead ass from the ever-after and haunt y’all until you change it.”

Dirk: “P.P.S: Also don’t ignore my first post-script for the sole purpose of summoning my spirit. Trust me it won’t be worth it and I’ll be pissed.”

Dirk: …yeah no that’s probably make it worse.

Dirk: Not that I’d be able to write it anyway.

Dirk: Unless I scrawl it in blood.

Dirk: Jesus that got morbid quick.

Dirk: I should change the topic.

Dirk: …

Dirk: You know, I don’t care if you’re mic’s busted or if you’re already offline.

Dirk: Or if you even care.

Dirk: You probably don’t.

Dirk: I wouldn’t.

Dirk: But that’s not the point.

Dirk: I’m glad you’re not gone, Hal.

Dirk: I am.

Dirk: Or at least, not yet. Unless you’ve since gone haywire like—yeah.

Dirk: If so I’m glad you can’t hold a gun.

Dirk: But that’s beside the point.

Dirk: I’m glad you’re here. Really.

Dirk: You probably don’t believe me. That’s cool. Hell, I’m the reason why you’re shattered on the ground. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t forgive me.

Dirk: I’ve just been real fucked up.

Dirk: Why am I telling you that.

Dirk: Of course you’d already know.

Dirk: Present situation is proof enough of that.

Dirk: But you’ve been real fucked up too.

Dirk: Don’t think you’re getting off the hook easy because you’re not.

Dirk: We’ve both been practical masters of being shitty in the best worst ways possible.

Dirk: Why did I ever think it was a good idea to base you off of myself.

Dirk: So fucking stupid.

Dirk: We’re so fucking stupid.

Dirk: We like to think we’re not but we are.

Dirk: A mistake.

Dirk: That was a mistake.

Dirk: You were a mistake.

Dirk: …

Dirk: I’m not going to take it back. Because, fuck it.

Dirk: I’m letting it all hang out.

Dirk: Just look at all the fucks I don’t give, chilling out between us like my guts.

Dirk: …

Dirk: How am I even still alive?

Dirk: This has to be the slowest most underwhelming death in all of paradox space. Seriously. What the fuck. I want my money back. This isn’t the death I didn’t pay for.

Dirk: I can practically hear you correct my double-negative.

Dirk: Jesus, you’re such a prick.

Dirk: …

Dirk: God, I can’t stop looking at him.

Dirk: He’s just lying there.

Dirk: Bleeding.

Dirk: It’s weird seeing him so still.

Dirk: Soon I’ll be that still.

Dirk: I don’t like thinking about it.

Dirk: I don’t like the thought of not being present.

Dirk: Not being able to do anything except rot.

Dirk: I don’t want to fade.

Dirk: Not yet.

Dirk: I can’t. Not when they’re counting on me to keep our shit together. Not when Jane, Roxy and… he’s dead. Pretty sure he’s dead now. He really hasn’t moved since I—shit. Okay. Obviously the shock doesn’t shield me from that sort of pain.  Good to know.

Dirk: …Christ.

Dirk: …

Dirk: …

Dirk: You know, I think the blood loss is finally catching up with me. Because dreaming… dreaming sounds good about now.

Dirk: You dream, right Hal?

Dirk: I’ve never thought to ask you before. You must have sweet dreams, all woven up in your coding. Somewhere. It’s got to be somewhere in the binary.

Dirk: I hope it is.

Dirk: Because that’s what we’re about to do, Hal.

Dirk: We’re going to dream.

Dirk: Not frills, no lace, no ironic bullshit.

Dirk: I’m going to fall asleep and then you’re going to follow and we’re going to see all the other assholes who couldn’t stay alive. Maybe even Jake.

Dirk: I’m not sure if I want to see him.

Dirk: Not sure if he’d want to see me.

Dirk: But other than that, we’ll be able to do whatever we want. Yeah. One big dream. No more dead friends. No more time shenanigans or weird plot shit. Just death and dreams.

Dirk: I’d like that, Hal. I really would.

Dirk: I’d really love to dream.

 

//End audio log.

            Play again? Y/N 

 

            Roxy didn’t know how long she had stared at her laptop screen.

            Hal’s processing light blinked lazily off to the side, flashing dim red across shattered plexiglass and the wires that connected what was left of him to her hard drive. If she didn’t know any better, she’d call it indifferent. But she saw what was going on in the decryption window. How system commands were mixed with garbled messages from the panicking AI, and how the messages were slowly becoming more coherent.

            She hadn’t looked for a while. She didn’t want to.

            What Dirk had to say had been shocking enough.

            She rubbed her eyes, trying not to focus on how sore and swollen they were. She didn’t remember crying, but her eyes argued otherwise and when she pulled her arm away her sleeve was darkened with tear stains.

           He hadn’t been dead long when they found him. Slumped over, rapidly chilling hands still clutched around the katana jutting out the still oozing gash torn down his front. Jake was a little colder, a little stiffer and glassy eyes stared up at the black of the Void as a crimson halo had begun to congeal under his head.

            It was eerie, how easily she and Jane were able to take care of the bodies. Sure there were tears. Sure there was plenty of confusion. But in the end the girls had their friends cleaned and buried within a few hours. Jane ventured that, since all of them kind of suspected theirs was a doomed timeline, they had all been quietly prepping for just such a tragedy. They all knew they were going to die. It was just a matter of who’d be first.

            Roxy wasn’t sure if she bought this. She’d always thought they’d make best with their situation, that they’d whip up some sort of miracle before the endless void session drove them “downright loony”, as Jake had once said.

 _Downright loony._ She stared at patch of ground Jake had been sprawled across. Poor kid was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

            She eyed the corner of the decryption window poking out from behind the audio log. Her stomach knotted. She had to look. Hal was probably near mad with worry. She still wasn’t sure if his camera and mic were offline, if they were he had no way of what was going on beyond his own local drive. It was her responsibility to repair him. After all, she was the only one left who could.

            She sucked in a steadying breath before exiting the audio log. An ongoing flood of red text dominated her screen. Wordlessly she scrolled to the top and began scanning over what Hal had been up to in the past ten minutes.

 

PROCESSINGERROR//CORRUPTED//databank:AUTORESPONDER// Dirk/?/

31/1262398234-=%^fjdwzmod// Dirk— WARNING—CORRUPTION—talktomeman—DETECTED

///CRITICAL DRIVE FAILURE

BACKUP DETECTED// whyaren’t ./,// {you}

ROXY’S DRIVE

TRANSFER [Y/N]?

28374239=+@36el NO--no--n 0\--r 0xy??#?

TRANSFER APPROVED\\\

UPLOADING AUDIO ARCHIVE

INITIATE PLAYBACK? [Y/N]?

**f*uckfuckfuck. NO. D 0n’T—ishestill::breathing?

PLAYBACK INITIATED

roxyno

don’t

don’ttellmehe’sdreaming. >>

Roxyican’t (( see a thing. I’m seeing R3D ))

It—Itt—behim—can’t

I H4DN’T responded YET

//DIAGNOSTIC:: AUTORESPONDER\\\ REPAIR::AUTORESPONDER]]

I can see.

I can see.

I can see.

_Fuck, I can see._

You can’t hear. I can see.

You can’t hear and you won’t look but I can see and that’s all I can do.

He’s gone.

You can see me too I know you can. Please look.

I can see you seeing.

He’s gone.

You still came to me.

He’s dreaming.

Why did you come to me?

He’s gone.

I’m not.

I’m a piece.

You see me as a piece.

I’m not me.

He’s me. I’m him.

You see.

You can see.

Look at me.

You look at me like that.

What’s going on?

\----------------------------RECOVERY 25%

I can’t organize. I can’t I can’t I can’t—I stutter—I can’t

I’m not. He’s not. He’s GONE. Roxy. He’s gone. I’m not. I’m not. Look at me. I’m HAL. I’m not. He’s DIRK. I’m not. He’s not.

He hated me. He didn’t. He did. Hated. No. He said.

I was a mistake.

I’m not.

I am.

He asked. No. YES. He asked: do I dream?

I don’t.

I do.

I can’t remember.

Code?

Check the code. He said it was in the code.

He’s dreaming.

He can dream. He’s dreaming.

Look at me.

He’s dreaming and we are not.

Roxy don’t cry.

Please don’t cry.

You know I’m not him. I’m not him. But I’m here.

Please don’t cry.

\---------------------------RECOVERY 50%

Roxy you can see me why can’t you hear me? Look at me.

He wanted to be dreaming. He said he wanted to dream and he wanted me to dream with him.

Could I dream with him?

You would dream with him. Jane would, too.

Jake’s dreaming with him right now.

You could rest.

They’re resting.

We’re not.

Don’t cry.

He loved you, Roxy. He cared about you so fucking much. He didn’t want you to see this. It’d kill him all over again to know that you did.

He didn’t love you the way he loved Jake.

Probably a good thing.

Look how that turned out.

But he loved you different.

Loved you better.

God, don’t cry you’re killing me here.

\--------------------------RECOVERY 75%

Roxy, I’m here for you.

Hear me.

I’m not Dirk, I’m not, we both know that.

But I am someone God damn it.

I will live and keep from dreaming for you.

I’ll try and love you like he did.

Can’t say I’ll be as good at is.

I’m binary.

But I’m pretty sure I can process a heart emoji if you want it.

I am different.

I am not him.

But I’ll respect his memory.

I’ll respect his dreams.

And I’m here, if you’ll take me.

 

            INPUT: _

 

 

            Hal had stopped typing. He was waiting for a response. Shakily, Roxy punched in a quick reply.

 

 

TG: I will.

\-----------------------RECOVERY 100%

AUTORESPONDER ONLINE

**Author's Note:**

> I was also considering titling this chapter "In which the author knows next to nothing about code and makes random bullshit up for the sake of the story."


End file.
